Barenaked Crockpot

"Did all of you on the lawn get wet?"[Lawn: YES!]
"Did you care?" [Lawn: NO!]
"Did all of you under the roof get wet?" [Roofed area: NO!]
"Why don't all of you give a chuckle to the lawn folks, then?" [Roofed Area: HAHAHA]
"Now, all of you on the lawn, why don't you give the finger to everybody under the roof?!" [Lawn: (Middle finger's raised)]
"The Barenaked Ladies, everyone. Promoting peace and brotherly love up and down the eastern seaboard." - Steve & Ed

"...and I looked across the bed and no one was there." "I thought you were going to say that I was there." "No. This was after our break-up." - Steve and Ed

"I am the god of fudge" - Ed
"And I am the god of little sprinkles!" - Steve

When asked what they'd be doing if they weren't in a band: "It would suck, because all the time we spend on planes and travelling around from arena to arena. If we weren't actually in a band, it would all seem pointless." - Ed
"Don't tell our crew!" - Steve

"Do Ninja Turtles have real blood or is it just ketchup?" - Steve
"Not sure. I suffocated the one I killed." - Ed

"And the fact that he [Kev] has to look at Ed Robertson's ass every day and every night you should know, that he deserves an award just for that." -Steve singing
"Look at my ass, look at my ass..." -Ed singing in response

Jim: "It's the same thing every night! Drums, bass, guitar, drums, bass, guitar!"
Ed: "Well, Jim, we're a rock band, that's what we do."

Steve: "I'm going to ask everybody with a laser pointer in the crowd to take it out... and get Eddie right in the crotch!" *crowd roars*
Ed (laughing): "I got news for you--none of those hit me, I was just doing that myself."
Steve: "Eddiiiiie the red-nosed... uh, wanger..."

Kevin: "I use to be in the Brothers Creeggan, but they kicked me out. So I joined Barenaked Ladies."
Jim: "Only Creeggans allowed, man!"
Kevin: "That's right. I appologize. Sincerly."

Steve: "Hi, my name is Steven, I am from Toronto, Canada, I like fast cars, and fast women. I like cafeteria food and cafeteria..decorating. In my spare time I go and decorate cafeterias all around America"
Ed: "Hi, my name is Ed, and I like Steve....period"

Ed: "Dean, did he just break my guitar?"
Kevin: "If he didnt, can I?"

Ed: The record company guy came back and said.. Pinch Me is great.. love Pinch Me.. Pinch Me is it.. but can we change the title? We feel it's a little lightweight for the modern rock audience.
Steve: Yeah. apparently those 18-24 year old males don't do a lot of pinching, and they might feel a bit alienated.
Ed: So we were coming up with new titles.. how about Pinch Me, Biiiiittch!
Steve: How about Punch Me?
Ed: How about F*CK YOU!

Steve: "The adults kind of like the witty lyrics and the harmonizing and the kids love the swearing."
Ed: "And the violence."
Tyler: "And the overall hot looks."

Ed: "I acknowledge, with a profound sense of sadness, that that may be the last time I kiss you this year."
Steve: "Don't count on it mister."
Ed: "Steve and I may neck through the whole countdown."

Ed: "If I'm looking really intense, it's not because I'm trying to be mystical. It's because I'm thinking Damn, that was supposed to be a 7th chord."
Jim: "And if I go like this (strikes a funny pose), it's because I am trying to be mystical."

Steve: "Ty's cranky."
Tyler: "No, I'm Spanky. I'm looking for Buckwheat."

Ed (introducing Conventioneers): "This next song is an invitation for you to neck with each other. Please choose the person to your immediate left, male or female, and start necking."
Steve (eyeing Ed, who is to his immediate left): "Yes!"

Ed: "Your sparkly accordion says Harry Potter, but my silver sparkly giutar says Lord of the Rings."
Steve: "Yeah, well, black guitar says, SHUT-UP!"

Discussing Conventioneers and the awkwardness of sleeping with someone you work with:
Steve: "That's never happened to anybody before, has it?"
Tyler: "Uh, no!... Not me! I don't sleep with the people I work with! ...Right, Steve?"
Steve: "And if you do, we don't talk about it anymore, Tyler."

Steve:"You could have paid 8 billion dollars to see Madonna over at the Palace, or just 6 million to see us, and she won't even sing 'Like A Virgin!'"
Ed: "but we will!"
Steve:"I do it like a virgin every night. That's how bad I am."

"Because our 'minds' are so huge!" - BNL when asked why they wear boxerbriefs