Barenaked Crockpot

"The fact that 'Barenaked Ladies' made us laugh and reminded us of when we used to look through the women's underwear section of the Sears catalog when we were 8. Once Ed got our first gig, he told them we were the Barenaked Ladies, and there was no turning back or else how would the 7 people there find us again."

" Will the tour plans ever include those of us unfortunate enough to live in the southeastern US?" - Question from fan
"No - we hate you" - Steve

"I hate sports. My reaction to the ball is this *kicks soccer ball* Don't kick it back to me. I don't wanna see it again."

"We are Barenaked Ladies and we are our own sorority."

"We get paid in America dollars." (when asked by Mike Bullard why they stay in Canada)

"It's like the biggest loser in the whole school threw a party, and everyone came."

"Like we say in Canada, 'We're number three! We're number three!'"

"Red, for instance, is not only the color of blood, but also of clowns' noses."

"OK - now everyone on the lawn scream!" (the lawn was empty)

"It took them 714 years to complete the filp-book version of Titanic. And when they did they were criticized for the poor special effects. Then they said 'What the hell do you expect? We started the special effects in 1585! Give us a Goddamn break!'"

"I love Krispy Kreme donuts, but doesn't the thought of cream that's crispy just churn your stomach?"

"I'd like to thank everyone who chose Pepsi over Coke. And I'd like to thank everyone who chose Coke over Pepsi. And to everyone who doesn't drink cola. And thanks to cola for starting this whole debate."

"You scratch my back, I'll give you a full body massage"

"That was supposed to be 'There once was a man from Nantucket'. Alex, my self-esteem is at an all-time low right now. Can I leave now?"
Alex: "No, you cant." (during Final Jeopardy, after wagering all of his money and loosing it all )

"If you're gonna get a front row seat man, you better learn the goddamn words."

"They say that me and Ed are matched like Bogey and Bacall. But there is no more better match than Tyler's mother f*ckin' balls." (NYE 2001 Auld Lang Syne)

"I have to set an example for the young people. And that is, be a fat guy with bad hair."

"I got so sick of being the only Jew in the group that I am now Christian."

"It's the first night of Hannukah and I got a sock, I can't wait for the second night where I get the other one."

"You guys just do this shit for publicity don't you? It's all bout spin for you Yankees." (making fun of the US political insanity)

"We had to tour 72 places in Canada. There arent 72 places in Cananda."

"It just means we are now officially old." (on "Disc One")

"Don't fall in love with me. I'm a tease"

"On the first day of Hanukah, my true love gave to me...nooooo-thing."

When asked if he had made any rock star purchases, Steve said "I have made a couple of rock-star purchases. I've got my big, rapper-style SUV. It's only because I hate the environment and I wanted to spew out as many emissions into the air as possible. I don't do a lot of off-roading and I don't really need the size and so on. I'm just angry at the environment, so I'm trying to do my best to destroy it."

"Help me out I'm dying over here Eddie."

"I just made you smell my finger" (discussing how his fingers smelled like lobster after eating dinner, and making Ed smell them)

"I'm the thinnest damn member in this band, but I felt so bad I had to fill up my shirt with a big foam pad."

"We have all succumbed to the cyber-revolution, although I refuse to believe that the Internet exists."

Chart Magazine: "Now that you've broken in America, will you celebrate with a round of cosmetic surgery?"
Steve: "Penis extension, please!"

"I went to a Brian Wilson concert in Toronto, and he opened with 'Brian Wilson'. And I didn't know what I should do. I mean, should I jump up, shout, 'Yes! That's mine!' Or should I crawl under my seat and hide. I ended up crawling under my seat, and whispering, 'Yes!'"

Chart Magazine: "How'd you sell 600,000 copies of Rock Spectacle in America?"
Steve: "Tricked people into thinking it was by Third Eye Blind."

"We have families, and we do like to remind them of what we look like."

Chart Magazine: "Hottest babe in Hollywood?"
Steve: "Janeane Garafalo"
(I just think that's cool)

"If I can have an omlette with home fries and toast, I'm a happy guy at any meal...And with grapefruit juice, now that's a delicious meal. Sometimes I try to mislead myself into thinking I want oatmeal, but I know I never do."

Chart Magazine: "Name a cheap, healthy alternative to Kraft Dinner."
Steve: "Suicide."

"I have my special rhyming scheme and damn, I think it's great."

"Do you ever turn on the TV with the closed-captioning and realize it's totally fucking with you?"

Chart Magazine: "Why hasn't Kraft approached you for an endorsement?"
Steve: "They're cheap bastards."

"Ladies and gentlemen, there is a debate over those-those - what do you call them - mp3s. Should you be downloading stuff and burning your own cds? Well, here's the answer folks: As long as you don't believe in the internet, like Barenaked Ladies - we refuse to believe that the internet exists - there is no problem with mp3s in the music business. You cannot steal something if there is nothing to steal. What is the sound of one band talking? There is nothing to steal if there is no internet. If there is no internet, there is no need for a moniter on your computer. Just type and touch your privates. I didn't even buy a monitor. It's all in my imagination. It's all in my imagination."

"You know, Ed and I, when we first started playing together, I'd drop him off at his parent's house. We'd been making out in the car for, like, 20 minutes, half an hour. (Laughs) That's what the song is about." (joking about the song, In the Car)

"My kids insist on having Stunt or the One Week remixes on while we're driving."

"The most embarrassing part was that I had a hard on too." (when the members of Vertical Horizon gave him a "3" after BNL flashed them)