Barenaked Crockpot

ROADTRIP- We set out on our Barenaked road trip. Driving was kind of uneventful. My friend Vicky went with me. She was the navigator and in charge of the map. Our great navigator was helping by telling me to stay on the red road and then turn onto the yellow road. Too bad they're not paved in those colors. Needless to say, she was stripped pretty quickly from her navigator title. So when we got to Pelham we went to check out the venue. We pulled into the back accidentally and saw the green busses with the Canadian flag hanging outside of one. We left quick before anyone noticed we came in the wrong way.
We went to the hotel and met up with Tommy and Chad, who are really funny and nice. We chilled in the room for a while. Watched the Boob tube. Then we headed back out to Pelham.

We got to the venue early, and this time in the right parking lot. Before we were even out of the car, some scalper was trying to sell us tickets. Pffft...We had LR tix, the only way he could offer us better were if the seats were in Tyler's lap. There was a gate open, so we just walked right on in. We acted like we belonged, and no one said anything to us. We roamed around the whole venue, just checking things out, not bothering anyone. We went back on our side of the gate and waited until the will call window opened. While waiting, we met Kellie from the great state of California. We introduced each other and talked while waiting for the window to open. We got our tickets: 1ST ROW ED SIDE!!!!!! Not right or left, but Ed and Steve, hehe. I couldn't believe it. Kellie had another set of tickets right next to us. But she ended up trading w/someone so she could be on the other side near "sex on legs" (Steve). I put Vicky's ticket in a card and gave it to her as her birthday present.

We talked to Kellie a little longer then headed in. The guard didn't look in my hiding spot, but being the retard I am, I left the film in plain sight. She didn't say anything to me though. She saw the roadmaps and asked where we came from. We got all of our paraphernalia and went and sat in our FRONT ROW seats. The scenery in FRONT ROW was great. I had some people come up to me because of my Barenaked.net shirt. Lubes and one of many Jen's came up to me. They all recognized my screen name. The two girls that got Kellie's seats were all decked out in Hawaiian apparel. They had a big sign that they were being very secretive about.

SARAH HARMER-- She was pretty cool. Although Vicky and I were having more fun listening to the security guy talk about an incident the night before about this big guy stepping over the barricade. From that point on he was known as the "Story Guy." Literally every person that came up to him, he told this same story to, over and over. By the time Sarah was done with her set, Vicky and I were reciting the story along with Mr. Security guard.

VERTICAL HORIZON-- one word: AWESOME. The bass player comes out on stage and walks right up to us and says "hi." It was cool. VH were so rockin'. At one point BNL Ed came out and put money in each of their pants and sang for a minute. Matt (VH) said Ed really knew how to treat a guy. Let me tell ya, I've had Everything You Want for some time now, but never gave it much notice. But after that show, I have to say, those guys are really good. Hearing Best I Ever Had live gave me goosebumps.

SHOWTIME (BNL) -- I still can't believe I got to watch the guys from the FIRST ROW!. Here are many of the highlights, some of which may make no sense, but I understand them and that's all that matters! ;-)

*During Kevin's intro they began to say what all was restricted and they kept going on with like no socks, chess boards, shoes, weedwackers, etc...

*The moon rap was hilarious. They were discussing their lighting effects. They said the real moon was behind the stage and it was a quater moon, but they had it covered up, but that moon was special effects and later on in the show they were going to blow it up. Then Steve started rapping about having the blues...and black underneath (Kevin's outfit).

* At one point during the show, someone threw up a beach ball. So Ed was trying to pop it, but to no avail. So he finally pops it and Steve puts it on his guitar. Steve's like, "Ed the ballbuster."

*Ed changed the words in Pinch Me to "run through with my flesh speedos" and "change into my sister's clothes."

*During "I Don't Get it Anymore" they kept showing the moon on the jumbotron. Close to the end Steve was holding out his hand motioning like the moon was going to blow up. The sad part was that all but like 2 people looked. Steve kept doing it, but when the moon didn't blow up, he gave up and threw his hand in the air. It was funny.

*They introduced "this next song [as] being from their worst selling album, so it may be new to some of you." Then I heard the beginning chords to Alt GF. That songs was so fucking rockin' live. I loved how they kind of changed the beat for the bridge, it made it even cooler. And he changed "you woke up and I was gone" to "we woke up with no clothes on."

*The "Yeah" improv cracked me up. They were talking about how rockin' VH were. Then they started in on how it doesn't matter how Matt sings, but if he goes yea at the end of the line, we'll all cheer. Ed goes, "He could sing 'you guys suck...YEAH' and you would all cheer!" Then Steve's like, "But if I do it, you're all like 'Why are you screaming?' and looking at me funny." So Steve decided it must be a bald thing. Tyler said, "Let's try it...YEAHH!!" The crowd cheers. Then Ed starts rapping about how he's not bald, he's got hair everywhere.

*They changed the One Week dance around to where they do the chicken dance. Need more be said?

*So right when $$$ came on the lights came up. I got out my "Everything is More Fun When It's Barenaked" sign. I held up so Ed and Kev could see it. Then I put it back down so as not to obstruct anyone's view. The girls next to me were waving their sign around. It said, "We'll give you a southern lay if you give us your stick." It was for Tyler. So the guys get to one of their talking parts and Ed's looking in our direction. The he goes, "I have to say, I really like that sign." thought he was talking about Hawaiian girls'. But then he goes, "Everything is more fun when it's Barenaked." *dead* So in a fit of enthusiasm I stick it back in the air so everyone could see it. I thought that was where it ends (pun intended), but oh no, it gets better. Ed starts talking about it. How, "yes, that may be true here in the south, but where we come from not everything is fun barenaked." Then they went on about a bunch of ice related things like ice hockey and ice fishing. Steve is staring right at me and starts talking then. They had me on the big screen looking like a retard. Then they moved on to the next sign. The girls had thrown the lay up their earlier. So Ed says they already have the lay, the girls are in no position to negotiate. He's like, "So just be happy and clap and we'll keep the lay and the stick." Steve said the sign was misleading, he thought he was gonna get a bag of chips. Then he goes, "How about you give us your car keys then we'll give you the stick."

*Tyler couldn't dance during the Barenaked Rap due to his knee, but he was singing "Get Your Freak On"...and he goes "Get your motherfucking freak on!" Cracked me up.

*Also during $$$ they started singing about a hair and beard combo that was getting them excited or something. It was this old guy w/a long beard. So they're trying to get him on the screen, and Ed and Steve are looking at the screen telling the guy in the Nike hat in front of grandpa to sit down. It was comical watching them yelling at the screen screaming "Nike guy sit down." Nike guy just kept jumping around. So finally Steve was like, "Nike guy, sit the fuck down!" After the song he was like, "I guess he's not used to being called Nike guy. He was probably standing there the whole time thinking, 'they're not talking to me, I have my Reebok hat on. I have my Reebock hat on. (pulls off hat to look) I have my ni--oh.'" LMAO. Then Steve said they must have offended some people because when the show started the top tier was full. So he asked all of us if saw any of the people that left to apologize for them. They didn't mean to offend them.

*After their first encore they did this slo mo exit, complete with hi 5's and waves. It looked so funny.

*When they were throwing picks, I hollered at Ed. So he walked over to me with his last pick. He motion to me like he was going to throw it then nodded. Being the retard I am, I fumbled and dropped it. I was half an inch from picking it up when someone else got it. Teach me to quit playing softball. ;-)

AFTERSHOW -- This night will always be remembered the greatest BNL show ever. And it only got better.

I got up with Tommy and Chad after the show. I met some other people Jackie (Hammy) and Meredith (Porkchop).. I also met Jodie who was with Kellie. Jackie, during the show, had been flashing Steve. We all decided to see if the guys would come out. We weren't expecting anything because they haven't been doing it lately and rumor has it that they've been "discouraged" not to do it anymore. But Steve, Kev, and Tyler ended up coming out.

Steve was first out. Vicky, being the great person she is, got Steve to sign my sign. Then she tells him, "My friend Kelley just converted me, great show!" He looks at me and smiles and says that's cool. So when it was my turn, I shook his hand and told him how awesome the show was. I asked if he could sign the pic from my 1st show. He said sure. When I handed it to him, I kinda blurted out, "Man, I look like a dork." (I'm such a tool) He said "no you don't," then he's like, "I have a mustache!" Then I asked if he'd also sign my little brother's cd. He even spelled Jared's name right and everything. I told him we'd see him tomorrow night, and he said great. I asked if he'd mind if I got another picture of us. He said sure, then grabbed and pulled me towards him with this big ole smile on his face. When he was talking to Jackie, I heard him thank her for the "gift" haha. As he was leaving, we all thanked him for coming out, and then he thanked us for waiting.

Next was Kev. I told him how awesome the show was. I asked him if he could sign the picture. He said sure. I told him it was from my 1st concert and I had never thought anything could top that, but tonight was awesome. I told him we'd be in Hotlanta too, so we were excited. He patted me on the back and said cool. He said they were changing up the setlist, so we'd hear some different songs. He looked at the picture he was signing and pointed at the sharpee and said, "Looks like I was chunking it at the camera." I got him to sign Jared's cd too. He's just such a nice guy. Jackie and them got him to pose with "the" sweater.

Last out was Tyler. He said he didn't think he could walk on the gravel cuz of his knee. Simultaneously, we all stepped onto the level ground. He signed the sign and said it doesn't make sense but he wrote it anyway ("especially chicken"). I handed him the envelope with the pictures and he was like, "You want me to sign your Eckerds lab thing?" I said no, I was hoping you'd sign the picture inside. He was like, Oh. Then he looked at the picture and said, "Man, I have a mustache!" all surprised. I said, "you all do, it's blackmail." When he went to sign Jared's, he couldn't pull out the insert. He cracked a joke about his motor skills or something.

Ed and Jim didn't come out. Ed's family was there. We stayed and talked to Jodie and Kellie until the busses left. Kev waved and Steve turned on and off his light and waved goodbye. You could see Fin with Steve. Then we left. It was such a surprise that any of them had come out. Such a treat.

By this time Vicky and I were starving. We headed to the nearest Waffle House to get something to eat. We walk in yakking about the concert oblivious to the world. There's only one table w/ people in it. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I notice Fin. Upon closer inspection, I realize Steve is 3 feet away from me. We didn't want to invade their privacy and bother them. I'm still sorta worried that they thought we were stalking them or something. Steve glanced our way once or twice. I was still wearing my shirt, so I'm pretty sure he recognized us. While we were waiting for our food, which we got to go so we wouldn't bother them, Steve spilled some of his food on the floor while trying to condense it all on one plate. It took everything I had to not bust out laughing.

So we went back to the hotel. The food was pretty gross. Vicky was like, "this is gross." I said, "That's why Steve threw his on the floor." We laughed pretty hard. I still can't get over how we go to get food, and have a Steve sighting. That's just cool. All in all, the show was awesome. And this was definitely a night I'll never forget! Like they say: Everything is more fun when it's Barenaked!!!!